Jack Frost in Christmas Town

What if there was a Cthulhu tree that possessed paranormal powers to grant its owner's wishes? That would be pretty interesting, wouldn't it? 'Cause everybody would want to have a piece of such a tree especially, if it was a Christmas tree. What if this tree could not discern what was right from wrong-what if it granted any wish anybody asked it?

Now imagine what happens if this magical Christmas tree got in the wrong hands, the Jack-Frost-kind-of-hands? If you can imagine the bad stuff Mr. Frost could wish for, this poem sums all of that up in one rich stew of terrifying goodness.

Jack Frost Photo: doktorsnake.com

          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Won't you set me free, grant this one wish?
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Hope you won't deny me one simple wish!

          
          One innocent wish of boom and doom for the world
          Of men who flourish and bloom in gloom and cavort,
          While their kids cherish balloons like loons with resolve.
          Oh, they just boorish. Yet, soon these goons will be gone.
          Lastly, they'll shh! like brooks these crooks will get plugged.
          How I wish my wish be thro and thro years to come;
          One prayer to garnish the book and cook the outcome.
          Cthulhu tree pray fish all rooms for oomph, let them burn!
          I'll stanby'n relish the crude and cruel of the rut.
          Make men impoverish'd. The good, make rude and deformed.
          
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Won't you set me free, grant this one wish?
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Hope you won't deny me one simple wish!
          
          While the angels watch, make toast of hosts at Christmas.
          Make men bear a grudge and ghost their foes with nerve gas.
          May the whole world lurch with groans and moans and setbacks.
          Ice their hearts and botch carol night shows, kill their laughs.
          May kids sucker punch the robed and gloved St. Nicholas.
          Use my breath and launch a bold and cold vengeful blast,
          Steal joys with a touch of stoic hate stoke flames in grass.
          Make earth a gray splotch and blow all hopes to breakfast.
          Pick a lens and scorch their toes, dispose th'universe.
          Just one wish as crutch then, go and close all Decembers.
          
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Won't you set me free, grant this one wish?
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Hope you won't deny me one simple wish!
          
          Grant that Christmas cease and brawls and growls seize the day;
          Send Pandora's beast and crawlies gosh! just make hay.
          Rain a plague release the gross and truss kids at play.
          Take away all feasts, outbursts and crush t'holiday.
          Bring it from the East encrust the Earth's horst with decay.
          Blow grit like ground grist and thrust the frost thro the pane.
          Raise hell break up tryst and cause the buzz lose its gait.
          Fulfill my wishes, rebuff their bluff, trash their game.
          Sever the cursed rift, repulse the Claus, prove him lame.
          One wish apocalypse makes crumbs of all; that's my gain!
          
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Won't you set me free, grant this one wish?
          O magical tree! From Christmas Town!
          Hope you won't deny me one simple wish!
          
          
          
         Akpan