Eneh Akpan Writes: determination

Showing posts with label determination. Show all posts

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Free To Ride

I have only one more desire

After I wrest myself free of this fire

Free from care, I'll ride the throat of zephyr

Shoot my game into orbit and burn brighter.

Akpan

Monday, August 19, 2013

Fault

Courtesy: layoutlocator.com

It’s not my fault

That when I exhale

It’s a death sentence on pain.

It’s not my fault

The sun beams down its shine

Into my corner when it’s pitch dark like a mine.

It’s not my fault

I can put my feet up in the heat and find peace

Even when prospects are no longer at ease.

It’s not my fault

That every time I shut my eyes and squelch a tear

I’m compensated for my loss by angels hovering near.

It’s not my fault

I got my life on point;

That I always seem to end up on the right side of the coin.

It’s not my fault

I rise constantly,

That somebody up there’s looking out for me.

It’s not my fault my rain turns to change,

That I play hard but don’t talk a good game.

And dudes best know where to point the blame.

Akpan

Monday, April 1, 2013

Day 1: Still I Ride

Photo: toppstiles.co.uk

I can’t lie and claim I

Never aimed high only to drop off like a dime.

But yeah still I try; I find it throws some weight off the upward climb.

Still I can’t pretend I don’t squirt a tear off my eye

Every once in a million while.

I don’t act up like my mind ain’t sometimes, a mile wide of the prize.

But I deal with it and shutdown my system to compromise;

And still I ride.

I ain’t sitting around all day long and whine,

I hear voices calling out for me,

I leap on the neck of the wind

And ride out to meet with Divine Company.

Even though prospects’ blown out of sync;

I shall not be moved.

‘Cause I sense an inner connect with my individuality,

I shall have my due.

All my colors shoot through liquid air like balloons.

And every time I close my eyes

I can certainly visualize

And still I ride.

I see destiny as a one-way ticket,

And the days of my life are programmed to self-instruct.

It’s the sole reason I keep sticking out long after my force is spent

And the world keeps screaming for me to flip the record.

If I had no choice left, I’ma still be a loaded gun;

If I ran out of options, I’ma pull up my resources and get gone.

I heard “impossible” once too many to recognize it’s unacceptable.

I’m wringing myself free of the excess burden,

Grasping all I can handle and shooting for a whole new level.

The mystery I am cannot be boxed in.

So, for every word I lay on this rhyme

I’ma stay on my grind, reach for the sky,

And still I ride.

The ghosts of childhood wake the dead;

And my wits, all out of joint moan in dread.

My shoulders droop like dead mass of flesh

As useless as seaweed caught in a mesh.

I cry for the morning; scream for respite;

My groaning turn growling; my bark to bite.

I’m howling and deadlier than a slither’n starlight.

No bones about it; ain’t quitting this fight.

The game’s about to change,

The caged bird escaped the cage.

I’ma ride all over competition

Until their very breath ignites in spontaneous combustion.

My sweat’s my trophy,

My pain’s my gain.

I take a step into the unknown if I trip

Something’s gonna take hold of me.

I’m dope on hope and I’m high

And still I ride.

I’m walking on sunshine

Hidden from all harm in plain sight.

I set my goal in focus don’t even try to hide.

There’s fire in my drive.

A high-octane version of adrenalin.

Like inspiration busting through the realm of dreams

Shattering walls between imagination and reality,

Promising the second wind of inevitability.

I found a reason to press forward,

I picked up courage to be strong,

To not cut and run in face of defeat,

To not back away from jeopardy.

I ride

Though outcome’s aligned contrariwise;

I ride

If the denouement pigeonholes into suicide;

I ride

And my conviction is bona fide;

I ride

So if I let go it won’t die.

Through inhumane cold and blistering heat

I levitate like vapor off a seething liquid.

It’s an addiction that’s caught on like a fever,

It’s like I’m rolling on spinners.

Still I can’t lie and fantasize

Everything’s alright but I survive

And still I ride.

Akpan

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Every single day I remind myself that the world owes me nothing. I whack myself upside the head with the essence of that affirmation daily. No man is indebted to me and I think the feeling is genuinely reciprocated. When I run into a fix, I like calling this fact to mind. And I think the guy on the inside is gradually, coming to grasps with this reality.

Life is an adventure, which if mastered, could develop into art. I strive for clarity in the pursuit of my goals and battle to remain persuaded that what I know about myself would still be true whether I believe it or not. I long to separate myself from the beguiling influence of come-easy ideas and hurtle into the willful abandon of creative aloneness.

Still I recognize the fact (I must, you see) that I cannot survive without the rest of humanity.

I am indebted to society to exploit the depths of my individuality; to reach for the utmost I could achieve and to bring that into the development of man. I must come to terms with the reality that to a certain measure, I share similar qualities with the rest of the human family.

I see a need to repaint the big picture. I perceive a call to define my destination and attain a level of awareness of the inner individual. Life can be a work of art, I tell myself. And the more I see the frame of the picture, the more I acquaint myself with the truth that stares me in the face. I see how I fit into the scheme of things and I’m able to separate wit from ability; to understand the debt I owe myself and the blame that is not the world’s.

The faith I possess in my abilities turns my eyes on responsibilities. I can’t refuse my obligations because I recognize I can only thrive and expect the full thrust of fulfillment to do its work when I admit I have nothing to prove to anybody.

Keep your pens bleeding!

Akpan