Eneh Akpan Writes: movies

Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Bond... James Bond: Thought You Knew 007? Think Again

Ian Fleming's sketch of 007 and Barry Nelson, American actor
noted as the first actor to portray James Bond

While serving in the British Naval Intelligence, Fleming once told a friend with reference to his dream of becoming a writer when he retired, “I am going to write the spy story to end all spy stories.” And that’s exactly what he did.

Since the writer invented 007 in 1953, the books and films have gone on to become the definitive spy stories for every other work in the spy genre. How much of this British spy character do you know? Let’s find out in 20 ways, shall we?

Seems I almost lost you back there, ugh? Well, at least, you can look at this on the bright side; you had a good shot at reacquainting yourself with Bond… James Bond.

Akpan

Saturday, January 5, 2013

The Dark Fascinates the Writers of Horror

The fictional character James Lowry encounters...

Photo: Wikipedia

Darkness commands its own peculiar kind of emotion: fear and awe.

Writers of the shock/suspense genre have harnessed this natural process and resource through all ages and generation. The dark seems to be a staple of the horror genre. Yet, we know it's not every scene in a story meant to terrify us that happens in the dark. There are frankly, quite a few stories which take place in the light that send the chill down our spines faster than would have been the case if the event occurred in a dimly-lit alley.

Men and women called into the ministry of fear understand people's reservations about dark, lonely places especially, the spots that have been deserted for quite a while. Such places bypass our rational minds and cry out to our subconscious with tales often difficult to believe but impossible to push to the back burner.

First, there is Fear of the Unknown, this is possibly the strongest case a horror writer can present for attaching so much importance to the dark. In moments of high-octane version of terror, a crumpled jacket lying on the floor of the closet could bear a really strong resemblance to the baby, dead and motionless or to some colossal creeping shadow that's waiting for the right moment to pounce on a victim and cause unthinkable harm.

The Element of Surprise is another very strong case. In the dark, nothing is what it seems. The writer of horror can manipulate the mind of his character(s) and reader(s) to believe one thing is really going on while in matter of fact, the reverse is the case (whatever the reverse might be).

"If there had been no such thing as darkness, the makers of horror movies would have needed to invent it." (italics mine)
Stephen King,

Danse Macabre

All in all, it is the idea, I call it the general phobia we all reserve in our deep subconscious for the dark that fuels the drama in the horror genre. Writers in this genre seem to have their fingers on the stuff that freezes our breath in our lungs and stops our heartbeats if only, for a fraction of a second.

Think of all the dreadful places thoughts of the dark dredge up in your mind-places like the inside of a closed coffin, the bottom of a well, the depths of the dungeon, the inside of a cave, blindness, the inside of a closet, the closed boot of a car, the depths of the ocean, the basement, concussion, coma, death. Is it a wonder we consider evil a dark matter? We even believe painful memories are stashed away in the dark places of our psyche.

The dark (be it in our minds or outside of it) is a world, a universe on its own and it never comes without its magic and do not forget, its box of misery.

Keep your pen bleeding.

Akpan

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Why Horror Sells at Christmas

Why do people create horror-themed works for Christmas?

Well, do you think they have a choice? 'Tis the season to be gory. Let the season come upon a midnight scream!

Horror-themed Christmas movies (art, books and poetry) reveal our dark side. They tell us there is a reason to celebrate and look beyond all the terrors and waking nightmares that taunt and haunt us. And people really do find it intriguing to be able to sit back on their sofa during the holidays, grab a bowlful of popcorn in their hands and munch away while watching a really good shock/suspense Christmas movie.

Photo: audio-history.blogspot.com

I'm not trying to make fun of a noble event or blaspheme a holy cause or anything of the sort. But the birth of the Christ was horror-themed. Somebody did try to murder him, if my knowledge of the Bible is not all that rusty, when he was born. A king, I believe it was. And you do remember how that chapter of the Holy Book ends, do you not? The Herod eventually executes every child from age two and beneath thereby, setting himself up as the most infamous infanticide in history.

Besides, as we celebrate, we ought to be made to recall not everybody enjoys the same privileges like us. There's somebody someplace going to get robbed naked on Christmas day; a child on life-support might not make it through the season; life will never be the same (for worse than for better) for some folks after this Christmas. You think I'm sick for mentioning stuff as troubling as these are during the season? Well, take a look around you. Is life more promising during the yuletide than it was in say, November? I'll bet my shirt, it's not.

The war in Syria, the fighting in Afghanistan even in Nigeria (though, of recent things have looked up at least on one occasion, when the military trapped a few members of the bomb-chucking maniacs and annihilated them) the terrorist group, Boko Haram is still very much around and in business.

I don't quite understand the mechanism of some people's minds, but it seems people are more terrified by horror-themed movies than they are of real life-deleting scenarios. Folks watch a horror flick, look away in disgust and exclaim, "What sort of sick individual could have imagined such a thing?" Now here comes the news guy with gruesome images of war and homicide-man actually, killing his fellow man-and this same folks sit up and yell for more live video shooting of the whole drama. If you told them that's gross. They'll probably reply, "Why. That's the NEWS. It really happened!" And you wonder if that ought to make it less or more horrifying.

Every Christmas (since 2010), I write Christmas-themed poetry. This year, I'm taking a crack at horror-themed Christmas poems. 13 dark verses which I have named Thirteen Days of Christmas. It's definitely a new experience for me and I do hope to learn a few new tricks in the art of shutting people's system down, even though temporarily, through the art of fear. It's always a lovely thing to find new reasons to celebrate. Gore came down at Christmas! (Sorry, I mean, love.)

There ought to be a chicken in every pot but you and I can name a few cases where there was no pot and the chicken caught a cold and died a few days before Christmas. Try to get yourself a very merry Christmas and keep in mind that it's better to visit the house of mourning than a place of fun especially, fun for the sake of it. That's probably, why horror sells at Christmas.

Have a horrific Christmas!

Akpan

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

12 Christmas Movies to Watch This Holiday Season

This is not the top 12 list of Christmas movies. It is, in any case, my spin on what ought to keep your eyes busy and keep families together this holiday. Enjoy!

SURVIVNG CHRISTMAS

A 2004 comedy film about a wealthy advertising executive (played by Ben Affleck), who attempts to surprise his girlfriend with a first class trip to Fiji for Christmas but is snubbed instead.

He accidentally finds a family and a new girlfriend (who knows the true story of woe about his real family) at his childhood home after his therapist suggests he burns his grievances there. His father deserted them when he was just four and his mother died while he was still in college.

BAD SANTA

The story of two thieves who dress like a shopping mall Santa Claus and his elf and rob malls during the festive season. One of them eventually, develops a soft spot for a kid he meets at the mall. A Christmas crime comedy film featuring Billy Bob Thornton and Bernie Mac.

GOTTA CATCH SANTA CLAUS

While a kid attempts to prove Santa Claus is no fairy tale to his friend by actually, capturing him and bringing him in, an ancient enemy of Santa has got the same plans. However, his intentions are way beyond noble.

MIRACLE ON 34^TH STREET

This movie, according to Wikipedia, has become a perennial Christmas favorite. Critics have dubbed it “The best Christmas film ever”. A man who, by a stint of fate, gets to play Santa Claus for a mall goes against the grain to get a girl her biggest wish.

BLACK X-MAS

The events of the film take place several days before Christmas, and tell the story of a group of sorority sisters who are stalked and murdered by one of their house’s former inhabitants during a winter storm.

THE FAMILY MAN

A very wealthy executive is dropped into an alternate universe where he discovers he is married to his former girlfriend and they both live happily in a small town with two kids. Just as he adjusts to his new life, he is thrown back into his former life as an executive. Now, he has to convince his former girlfriend at the airport not to fly to Paris and take up her next business appointment.

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS

The king of Halloween Town opens a portal to Christmas Town and the fun (sorry, horror) begins.

GREMLINS

A boy receives as a Christmas gift, a creature called a Mogwai from his father. There are 3 important rules in keeping a Mogwai as pet. 1. Never feed it at midnight; 2. Never expose it to direct sunlight; 3. Never allow water to touch it. (Not necessarily in that order). The boy unintentionally, breaks all 3 rules and unleashes terror on a small town.

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

A filming of a Charles Dickens’ story of the same name.

Disney presents a beautiful animation of a film featuring the voice of Jim Carrey as the miserly old money lender at a London counting house who abhors everything the season represents.

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE

An explosive used by a team assigned by a scientist to excavate the largest burial mound in the world discloses a sacred grave. The occupant of the grave is still very much alive and what’s more, he is the mysterious figure behind the Santa Claus myth.

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT

A kid named Billy after witnessing the gruesome execution of his parents at the hands of a man in a Santa Claus costume snaps and becomes a killer Santa who punishes people who have been naughty.

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

The story of a creature intent on stealing Christmas especially, the spirit of the season. However, he ends up being the highpoints of the show. A girl who believed she could transform him from the grumpy creature who pulled dangerous and harmful practical jokes on the people of Whoville changed him into a friendly personality.

That’s all folks. Everybody loves stuff that would keep family together during the holiday season. These films ought to work the magic.

Merry Christmas in advance!

Akpan