Friday, February 14, 2014

The Sideview Apocalypse


Caution, which is an essential you'll stow away in a trunk as a functional make-up of the maintenance kit turns up missing in a Lagos driver's vocabulary. These roadhogs hit their mind's delete key on a whim at a hint of the C-Word—and don’t you dare pretend the situation’s less complicated where you live. They've laid down their cautionary hats. These days they prefer not to.

There was an age when blinkers were a vehicle's most delicate hardware. The world moved on and subsequently, readjusted the standpoint on blinkers. In more recent time, motorists traded interest in the turn signal for vehicle part of a little more elevated status—and that’s not on the terms of importance but of position—the sideview mirror. When a Lagos driver isn’t all over trying to trump James Bond’s driving skills; which happens when he (or she) is constrained to proceed at a crawl, motorists turn their energies to ripping off the other guy's sideview. 007 stunts are small potatoes compared to this delirious real-life-car-chase-choreography from hell.

I should clear up the air a bit so I don’t hand you the wrong end of the stick. The episode conveyed through this prose is stringently localized (that don’t extricate the speed daemons in your locale). If you've been around Lagos, Nigeria or better yet, if you read my post on “James Bond driving,” you have a roughly sizeable idea how this yarn’s going to come out.

Courtesy: pbase.com
Let’s do a little comparison. A covert intense virtual feud is all the rage on the internet right now. A development not alien to the action flick scenario played out on a minute by minute basis on Lagos highways and byways rules the digital multiverse. Millions of site owners strive for awareness or traffic—pardon the pun—it gives a sense of congestion on the internet. But as it is with real traffic so it is with the virtual; there is a destination in the big picture.
            Saying’s still true ‘if you keep your focus soon your focus will keep you.’ You don't have to take the lead. You aren’t stuck in some sick race where the laurel wreath gifts the suicidally speedy. What you can do, and should, is seek out new and fresh channels to pull in your resources as some Lagos commercial bus drivers sometimes do even though at the expense of commuters.

One minute you're staring out your rearview watching some bum stuffed behind the wheels of a beat-up truck pull up to your bumper. What happens next is a blur as the monster hunk of metal hurtles into the scrawny space between your automobile and the highway divider. It gives your ride the bum's rush, collecting paint scrapings for souvenir and not quite leaving your sideview out of the wager. Splinters of glass spray on the tar and all that’s left is a hollow, battered (mostly plastic) housing.
            In time, drivers learned at a pretty price, the implicit meaning of the warning legend engraved on the wing mirror; the one which reads “objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.”

Akpan


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