My whole life I’ve been haunted
By everything I’ve ever wanted.
I have walked in its shadow,
I have fed on its life force,
I’ve worn it like a cassock.
It’s my own omen of hope.
Here I stand one as many
Knowing my life is secure
By the standards I have set,
Still that doesn’t make it a ball.
I’ve learned the choices we make
Can hold us captive like slaves,
They can turn on us like beasts
And rip us to shreds like adversaries.
So I chase after these things,
Yet I am not yielded to them.
I’ve put a leash on the beast,
But it’s got me by the helm.
It dictates my attitude
I can’t not dance to its tune.
But I mustn’t let myself down.
I must stand out from the crowd.
So I hang on with one hand,
With the other I withstand.
I’m watching out for myself
Trying for not tripping on my leg.
I am into my dreams deep;
They chase me into my sleep,
I’m rooting for who I am,
Yet scared stiff of being the man.
My entire life I’ve wanted
By the very things I’ve always haunted.