Turntable

Put the pin/On the turntable

Let it spin/Sway like vegetable

In the pot simmering

It's the communicator

Smooth operator/Boredom fumigator

The lyrical prestidigitator

Chronic regulator/Funk educator

Step off on the wrong foot

S'long as you hit the groove

You're in the right boot

Take a shot it's a loot

My tongue's ready to shoot

Surrender your will

To the control of the wheel

Let it lock the still

With a hint of steel

This jam/Is breaking bad

N' the virus is catching

Yo fan base I'm snatching

Hands up heads scratching

Cold verbs/Non decaffeinated

Got yo dubs/decontaminated

Make yo jaws drop/Like the elevator

I'm the vibe desegregator

On a hitch/I invent a nitch

On the grid/Like hopscotch

The real deal/It's top notch

Like the neighborhood watch

The killjoy's plans I botch 

I'm the rhythm navigator

The funkadelics alligator

All I do is smile

As I watch the blues die

The tears flow from my eyes 

As I spill you on the tiles

There's electric potential

As the track hits a pedestal

The needle slides like a piston

Devastating shots from a pistol

Rock your crib steady

Rock-a-bye baby

Smooth as the underbelly

Of the anaconda 

Unforgettable like Lumumba

I regulate the beat

I'm the Prince of Zamunda

Make you feel the heat

Soon as I get this raccoon

Wrapped up in a cocoon

Get this mix-up dragooned

Vocals put you on chokehold

Make you relinquish yo hold

Step lively/Make you hybrid

Like the holly n' poison ivy

Spin the turntable

My words are imperishable

Ride up your spine

Wheel you with the stars

Like a metrical turbine

Make you yield yo scars

Top of the world Mama

Attack yo feet like a mamba

You do the crazy legwork

Like Jackie Chan/For what it's worth

Make you a rockstar

Like Chaka Khan/I make vowels

That dig deep like trowels

Sink my hits in your bowels

By the power of the turntable

More power than a classic fable

Rock the house from pillar to gable

I bend you to the wheel

Enchant you like an FB reel

Ride it like a 24 inch chrome

Grilling a freshly tarred road

Tracks revive an old chrone

Got her reeling like tadpoles

I can work magic/With a simple lyric

Cause I'm the music manic

I'm the metrical Houdini

I tame a storm like Maldini

I dictate yo heart tempo 

Like the pedal of a Lambo

Regulates its speed

The turntable makes the beat

You're a victim/Stuck in the groove

A bionic tag team 

I got something to prove

I studied yo heart rhythm

So I can do the logarithm

The Jazzonia Langston

Let it flow like Braxton

Strap on my David Jesse

Pack a Kevlar in a jersey

Throw a track

Like a shot from Van Persie

Meters bite like fangs

Got you numb like Van Helsing

I'm Joe Pesci/With a mean twin

Spit tracks n' Macks

Like Liam Neeson

Verbs that battle sharks

In the Deep Blue Sea

Like LL cooking sushi

I waxed my demo 

When Pac was just a teen

Sitting in limbo

I was barely seventeen

Produced by Alby

Where they mastered Blacky

Six tracks at Klinks

Mysterious as a sphinx

Now I rise like a Phoenix

To recover what was jinxed

My life has been a remix

People have tried to steal it

Folks died trying to help me

Killed em off to erase a witness

A diabolic bidness

Just stating the diagnostics

I'm not one to get melancholic

It's the end game logistics

You see life can be ironic

I bring the psychedelic legislature 

To give static a seizure

On a platter of gold at leisure

And it's all my pleasure

The tracks slug you like David

At the battle with the Philistine

The beat bends you like David

Backham's ball doing free kicks

I got the tools and/All the time and

The venom at hand/While the needle

States a deep riddle

It's my duty to decode it

N' with dub molass encode it

Then I release it to the world

Joy to the world like Mariah Carey

Rip off the Mask like Jim Carey

Put your hands up

Stomp bop to the hip hop

I send infidels to the septic 

Those who don't respond to detox

When life gets traumatic

I initiate the funk redux

It works every darn time

The jive runs buck wild

I spy your body language

The turntable is timeless

Transcends time n' age

Like the pyramids of Rameses

The magic is lossless

N' tho football's my favorite sport

I still break it up with Kurtis Blow

Hit you up at the spot 

The electricity's 10,000 volts

When I ride on the turntable

I make bodily atoms unstable

Mountains become movable

No weight is unbearable

Nothing is unbelievable

Anything is possible/That's legal

Throw it up/Make your soul hop

It's a kamikaze/Full clip magazine

Pump you to pump me/That's mean

I'm the greatest poet/That ever lived

Y'all just don't know it yet

Detox the air I can't breathe

The level of mediocrity's toxic

It can make the wildest pig sick

But I'm slick as a toothpick

I coordinate the jamboree 

Like Lionel Richie

I dominate the territory

Like Lionel Messi

I flourish rhapsodies

Regulate the bass with the woofer

I got the power of a bursar

The limerick Yakuza

The needle meanders over 

The groove like the NASCAR

In the deserts of Senegal

I'm a troubador/The whole world

Spins on the needle/Of my turntable

I can get y'all dancing

Throwing it up on the ceiling

Burning up a city

Getting jiggy with it 

I'm glad you could make it

Let the music take you to the zenith

The turntable's another

Flying saucer/Provoking salsa

Spitting exotic flows 

Like unstoppable UFOs

Hug you like a pinafore

With metallic metaphors

I spit it raw from the jungle

Like I'm your big uncle

I'm on the turntable 

You're invited to the banquet hall 

Walk right up to the table

Introduce you to the funk

I'm The Grand Wizard

Eat you up like pizza.

Eneh Koko Akpan